"Your mind's a dangerous neighborhood: don't go there alone." ~Mary Karr
People often ask me, "Did you always know you were a healer?" The better question is, how did I go from being such a huge skeptic, to someone who believes in this so much? I used to help teach a Physics class in college where we touched on the topic of psychic phenomenon and I thought it was a bunch of crap. A waste of time, and that psychics were making stuff up based on reading the body language of the person. It was going to take a miracle to change my mind.
In March of ’07 my life changed when my partner said, “Why don’t you try meditating.” My reaction was, I’m not doing that-- I can’t do that! I can't even sit still! My ego didn’t want her to know the truth, so out came, “O.K.” I could just feel myself energetically slapping my forehead thinking-- you idiot! Now I had to do it. I’ve always been a person of my word-- especially to myself. I had to give it a try.
So I sat down one chilly morning in March on my little brown couch, turned on soothing music and held on to my coffee tightly (I wasn’t about to meditate without coffee--I’d probably fall asleep!). The plan was simple. I wasn’t going to get off the couch for the next hour. I was going to force myself to sit still for an hour. I figured if I sat long enough something was bound to happen. So I sat, and I sat, and I sat. Day after day meditating. Waiting, listening, and finally one day I suddenly felt my eyes burning. Holy moly! I opened my eyes. What was that? And then it was gone. I closed my eyes again, and it was back. This time I kept my eyes closed and let myself feel what was going on. They felt like they were burning, like there was sand in my eyes. Jeesh, do I have pink eye? Then I tried to figure out what had crossed my mind just prior to the burning sensation. Sara! And then I knew, this was not mine. I can’t really explain how I knew so definitively that this was not my eyes burning, but my twin sister Sara’s! This is crazy! I started meditating to gain inner peace, and now, I’m in pain? Is this a joke? I put my coffee down, mustered up the courage to pick up the phone and call my sister at 8 in the morning. This was our conversation.
Me: Sara, hi, it’s me (the one you shared the womb with). Um, I have a weird question for you, but could you just answer it for me?
Sara: Hi, um, yeah.
Me: Are your eyes burning right now? Like you have sand in them?
Sara: How did you know that?! I have a double pink eye infection-- one in each eye. They are killing me. How did you know that, I didn’t even tell mom.
Holy crap! I started to shake, I was a little scared, but intrigued. Was this “twin-tuition” or something else. I explained to her that she popped into my head when I was meditating and my eyes started to burn. I couldn’t offer much of an explanation. I knew I sounded crazy.
The next day, I sat down again and started to meditate. I got bored so I started to wonder how my dad was doing. Ouch! What the heck was that? All of a sudden my tooth was killing me in the back of my mouth. I knew this was not mine either. So I sat with the pain, trying to figure out which tooth it was in my mouth. Once I located it, I decided to call my mom. The conversation went similar to the one with my sister.
Me: Mom, what’s wrong with the tooth in dad’s mouth. It’s all the way in the back, on the top, on the left side. Does he need to go to the dentist?
Mom: Yes, he is going today. Last night he bit down on a walnut and cracked his tooth. How did you know that? Wait, which tooth did you say?
Me: The one in the back on the top, on the left side.
Mom: You know, that is probably right. It’s definitely on the left side and in the back on the top. How did you know that?
Again, I really didn’t have a good explanation. I thought, what is going on? What is the purpose of feeling someone else’s pain so intensely? That question lingered in my mind for several months.
I continued to tune into other people’s pain during meditation only after getting their permission. I started getting phone calls from friends and family asking me what I thought of a certain pain/problems they were experiencing. The more I was accurate, the more I knew there must be something greater at work here than just me. How could I possibly know these things? Suddenly it dawned on me (I'm a little slow sometimes), if I can feel their pain and I can heal with my hands, maybe I’m supposed to combine the two and help make people feel better! Cue the Alleluia music, angles and fairies dancing and a bright light shining between clouds that have just parted. I had just found my purpose!
Now what do I do with that?!