Be Yourself

“Are you strong enough to be yourself...” ~Enrique Iglesias

I love what I do!  I love the way I think.  I (now) love that for years people looked at me funny because I thought differently. If I didn’t think differently, I wouldn’t be able to look at someone’s physical body and see how their emotional and spiritual bodies are creating their current physical status.  I wouldn’t have just been able to give a multi-dimensional reading to someone in a hospital.

For years I wondered why I didn’t fit in.  I remember being in 4th grade on the playground and wondering why the girls would bicker everyday.  They were so mean to each other-- and they were friends!  My twin sister would have a different best friend every day!  I remember thinking, how do they do that?

For much of my childhood I observed.  I was trying to understand behavior.  I observed partly because I couldn’t out shine my twin sister (she was very loud and boisterous), partly because I was nearly invisible in my family (I remember occasionally raising my hand at the dinner table in an attempt to be heard), but mostly because I was extremely curious about human behavior.  I needed to understand.  I thought, if I understand them, maybe I’ll understand me.  It wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I really began to understand me.

That year I suffered a bi- lateral fracture of my L-5 (lower back), and a pinched disk above it from playing soccer.  OUCH!   It took the doctors 2 months to properly diagnose me.  It was only in my persistence (from intuitive guidance) and my Mom listening to me (thanks Mom!), that I was able to get a proper diagnosis.

Upon my diagnosis, the doctor told me I probably wouldn’t heal.  He informed my 16 year old ears, that I would “never be able to play sports again,” never have a “sit-down job” or “stand-up job.”   I left his office in pieces.  I was offered surgery that would permanently alter my spine or I could “rough” it and see how my body would heal.  I decided to rough it-- knowing what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.  I would spend the next 9 months on bed rest, with a body brace, and a bone stimulator--and not go to the junior prom.

This may sound crazy, but I’m really glad that happened.  Removing me from school offered me the opportunity to learn without feeling self-conscious about the way I was thinking.  I was able to devote a 100% of my attention to my studies and I found that I loved school!  I had to teach myself a lot of the material in order to keep up-- and I loved that!  That’s when I decided I wanted to be a teacher and also realized, the “dumb blonde” stereotype that plagued me, was holding me back from my potential!  I started to appreciate my differences rather than hiding them.

I also realized the importance of visualization, patience, and hope that year. When I left the swanky N.Y.C. doctor’s office I refused to believe his prediction for the rest of my life.  I adamantly decided to ignore his “expertise.”  I spent many nights dreaming about playing soccer and visualizing myself healing.  When I showed up for my last doctors visit-- my doctor was stunned.  He informed me the radiologist had just called his office to speak to him directly because she couldn’t believe I was the same girl who had broken her back.  My doc informed me I had managed to heal my back and make it stronger than it was before.  Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I was back on the field where I’ve been playing for the last 12 years.

I think Dr. Seuss sums it up best, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."