My Personal Journey

A Classic Case of Intuition

The town I live in just had it's first annual Pints and Paws festival for rescue dogs.  The streets were filled with smiles, vendors and four legged friends.   The festival was raising money for two animal shelters. As I walked the streets, I noticed a woman with a small baby.  As I looked at this woman and her baby, something struck me as odd.  I couldn't put my finger on it right away so I  kept socializing.  Moments later she came rounding the corner, baby in her arms, and I was struck again by the feeling something was not right. I looked at the baby and told my friend, "That baby seems very sick and should probably be in the hospital and not in her arms parading through the streets."

The baby's energy seemed so listless that I was in shock she would be out with it.  I became so upset by this, that I stepped back and tried to find another perspective---so I consulted my intuition hoping to be relieved of my feelings that this baby was not well.

As I tuned in, I heard, "She's selling it."  At that, I threw my hands up and said, " I knew something was up!"

I was in total disgust!  I couldn't believe this woman was so brazen to be selling a baby in the streets!  I was so totally upset, that I asked my friend who is training to be a police officer to go investigate.  A few minutes later she came back and said, "You're right, she's selling that baby...it's a doll you duffus!"  We both had a good laugh at me.

I share this story with you because  we often receive guidance or information and we interpret the situation---rather than just taking the information at face value.  The lady WAS selling the baby but I assumed that the baby was alive because it was what made sense in the situation---adults don't usually walk around carrying life size replicas of babies!

The truth is I broke a cardinal rule in using your intuition---follow it implicitly without interpretation.

My mom always said, to assume makes an "A$$ out of you and me."  I guess she's right.

32 Days Sober

Last month I challenged myself to go 31 days without drinking any alcohol.  Suffice to say, I did it.  It wasn't easy though---I visited family and friends, watched football games (hello beer and wings!), and even attended an event solely based on drinking.  In the past, all these occasions would have included some level of drinking.

Before sharing my realizations, I'd like point out I didn't give up alcohol because I was addicted to it, or felt I needed it daily, I gave it up because I wanted to see what life would be like without it.

Here's what I found---much to my surprise!

I became significantly more aware of my surroundings---even for me!  I noticed colors, smells, and peoples' interactions more than ever.  I experienced a new found zest for life, and a heightened connection with those around me.

It was so much easier to see how we are all connected.  I couldn't believe the high I was on!  Feeling the vibration of those under the influence paled in comparison to the heightened awareness I felt.  I ached for them to have the moment of clarity I had while dancing among them.  Everything was beautiful!---they were, their hearts, their minds, their thoughts, all of them!  I suddenly realized, why would I ever want to miss this!  Why would I not want to bask in the energy of all that was, is and will be---the MOMENT.

When I realized alcohol pulled me out of the moment, I realized I was missing some profound connections. When we aren't fully present in the moment we are missing our opportunity to create a profound connection with ourselves and others---and possibly it all.

Cheers!

Revolution

I needed to share this! I recently went to my first acupuncture appointment.  I know!  Totally surprising, but truthfully the Universe hadn't presented me with someone I felt comfortable doing this form of treatment.

The acupuncturist I chose is very in tune with other energy healing modalities (in addition to Traditional Chinese Medicine), and incorporates them into her practice.  Plus, we are exchanging services which is really an awesome benefit of being in my field.   Yeah for free massages and energy work!!!

I decided to experience acupuncture out of curiosity first and foremost, but also I wanted help getting to my "happy weight" ---the weight where you just put on your clothes and they fit perfectly and make you feel great.

Even though I'm really healthy according to my "numbers" attained through Western medicine protocol, I know I could stand to lose a few pounds, and I intuitively knew my metabolism needed an energetic boost (or a kick in the butt), so I elicited some help.

Per usual in a doctor's office, I filled out a lengthy questionnaire asking me detailed questions of my history, lifestyle and present symptoms.  She asked me about my diet, looked at my tongue (gross!), and felt my energetic pulses (what?!).  I don't know how she did this, but while taking my pulses, she could somehow tell I had an accident in my teenage years in my lower back (I broke my lower back when I was 16), and I had seen something scary in the last 24 hrs (I watched a scary show before bed---I almost never do that, because it disturbs me so much)!  Very much intriguing and impressive.

After a long discussion (about practically every detail of my life!--yes, she even asked me about my poop!) she surmised the purpose of the treatment was to treat a "damp," "heat" condition in my body---sounds nasty but it's TCM lingo.

What was interesting about this appointment is that she explained WHY I had developed a damp, heat in my body.  Apparently, I've created this condition through my intense desire to learn and so have started robbing energy from other areas of my body in order to fuel my insatiable desire for knowledge.  In addition, I am constantly "downloading" tons of source energy which overloaded my metabolism.  The combination of these two things and the fact that I'm often in Florida---hello sizzling heat and sticky humidity!---I needed some energetic adjustment.  Plus, she advised me about the foods I was regularly eating that were either contributing to or lessening my symptoms.  For example, she told me I was right on track with drinking Aloe Vera juice (score one for me!), and I needed to cut back on peanut butter because of the nature of the conditions in which it is grown (total bummer)!  But how interesting!

Right before the treatment, I asked her what was going to happen to me after the treatment.  Was I going to become disinterested in learning, or worse, dumb after the treatment?  I know that sounds ridiculous, but I just wanted to be clear.  Thankfully, my thirst for knowledge would be dialed down---not my intellect.

After that reassurance, I was ready to get rewired!

I knew I would be sensitive to the energy flow, but I didn't know how sensitive!

OMG!  After the insertion of the first needle (right between my big toe and 2nd toe), a wave of energy looking exactly like a blue ocean wave, glided up my body, nearly lifting me off the table!  The wave seemed to find it's resting spot somewhere in my lower back on the right side.  I immediately described what I felt and she remarked, "That's exactly where the energy was supposed to go---to your right kidney."  Whoa!

Then she did it on the other side, this time it was if a red lightning bolt shot up my leg, branched off a my left kidney and proceeded up to my head.  This was exciting!

With each insertion of a needle I could feel some sort of release in my body and not at the direct site of insertion.

One of the last needles placed in my body was to "drain" heat from my body.  I had no idea that this particular placement was supposed to do that, but sure enough, I immediately experienced an internal shiver.  I couldn't believe how quickly and effectively each needles' placement was.

As if that wasn't cool enough, in the middle of the treatment I opened my eyes and could see the whole room filled with tiny white balls of energy bouncing off of each other, and all the electronic equipment in the room started to buzz!  I was even able to control the loudness of the buzzing with intentional releases of energy from my body!  The more I released, the louder it got!  So amazing!

As for how I felt after the treatment?  I felt great!  I felt relaxed and I could tell that I was slightly disinterested in research and food---very interesting.   I also felt lighter---so much so I thought I might have dropped some weight the very next day.  The scale didn't register a difference but maybe my body will catch up to how I'm feeling.  Either way, I'm happy with the results.

I can't wait for the next treatment!

Eyes Wide Open

“Art is an expression of soul.”  ~Anonymous

Years ago I created a vision board---the kind where you cut out pictures of things you want, places you want to go and people you want to meet.  Basically anything that you want to attract into your life.

As I was creating my board, I decided I need a picture that represented my spirituality.  One that would remind me of my journey, where I came from and the shear beauty of nature.

I came across the most exquisite picture of white light streaming in an auburn and burnt sienna colored cavern.

I stared at it and it took me to a whole new place---one day I’ll actually go there.  I heard drumming, chanting and could feel and smell the cool damp earth in the canyon.  I was in awe and my head felt woozy---so I cut it out and posted it on my board.

I visited my board every morning, dreaming of the life I wanted to create while waiting for my coffee to brew.

Just two weeks later, I found myself moseying down Duval street in Key West like many others.  I had just visited the “Best Palm Reader in the Keys” and was contemplating my palm and all it had revealed.  As I glanced up to keep my pace with the tourists, I found myself in front of a life sized picture of my cavern!  I couldn’t believe it!  I could run forward and hug this life sized picture or grab the nearest tourist and say,  “Look!  It’s the picture on my vision board!!!!  Can you believe it????”

It turns out, life placed me in front of Peter Lik’s gallery---only 1 of 2 in the whole country.  I had no idea the picture I cut out was his photograph.

I entered the gallery awe struck.  Each photograph told a story and I could feel it.  I felt like a child discovering nature for the first time.  I spoke with William, a distributor, about these photographs and he began to describe Peter’s work in a way that sounded so familiar.  He spoke freely about how Peter could capture the energy of the landscape--- how he sees and feels the landscape differently than most. He explained how photographs are generally just a “snapshot” in time---a minuscule portion of a second and Peter’s are much longer.  He extends the exposure time, letting in as much light as possible in order to allow all the colors of the landscape to be absorbed and the true beauty of nature to be expressed.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  It was as if William was talking about energy healing.  Slowing things down...letting in as much light as possible...allowing for true beauty to be expressed!  Peter’s work is another form of healing!!!  I had never looked at it like that before!  The thought of it brought tears to my eyes---how perfectly awesome!

What are you doing to create your path?

Street Fighter

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"Sing your song. Dance your dance. Tell your tale." ~Frank McCourt

I’m going to take you waaaaay back.  At least it feels that way to me.

I used to work with what many people would describe as horrible students---even some would say horrible people.  They would rob, deceive and hurt just about anyone---until they got to know you, then they would defend you with their life.

They were very vulnerable.  Witnessed countless things I can’t even imagine, carried the burden of hate and unjust to such a degree that it nearly crippled them.  As incomprehensible as their past was to me--- so was mine to them.

Each one of my students had been kicked out of their local school in order to provide a more safe environment for the other students.  With my school being the second most dangerous school in the city (possibly the country), one could see why their neighborhoods didn’t want these kids around.

Besides the lesson, “nothing is personal,” which I’ve discussed in an earlier blog, I learned how to survive, assimilate and thrive among these kids.  They challenged my intuitive and energy skills, more importantly they taught me the strength of the human spirit.

Teaching became a dance of energy.  They would read mine and I’d read theirs.  These kids could see through anything, so a genuine nature was the only way to go.  They instinctively knew energy doesn’t lie.

Early in my teaching, I made it a habit to greet the students as they entered my classroom.  I could get a pretty good gauge as to who was feeling volatile and who was happy to be there.  I scanned their energy because I needed to know who would “pop off” at any time and threaten the safety of everyone in the classroom. I need to know who to challenge to go further with their education and who just needed a safe place to close their eyes.  I had to discern apathy from exhaustion, delusion from mental illness, disruption from avoidance.  I had to know where they stood and where I stood with them.

Truthfully, many of these students would never graduate---lured by the street mentality that money was easy to come by when you needed it.  It was difficult to teach students the value of education when they were making more than I was.  I understood why they distrusted adults and authority---I saw them disrespected and mistreated.  For them, it was more fun to live a street life.  They were so entrenched in a culture where guns and clothing represented power and respect that book knowledge was dead last in this fast paced street world.  It was a set of the latest Nike kicks that were going to get you street cred, not an understanding of the water cycle.

Throughout my years teaching, I taught about 500+ of these kids and I found something to love in each kid.  I have to say, I didn’t do this on purpose.  It just happened.  The more they got to know me, the more they opened up, the more I saw the world through their eyes.  Each one of them was desperately seeking to be loved.  Each one wanted to be heard and acknowledged for their survival.  They wanted to know they weren’t going to be judged for the way they handled their journey.  Giving them this space wasn’t difficult---had I been in their shoes, I don’t know what I would have done.

I tell you about these children because we just never know who are teachers in life are going to be.  I’ve come to realize, it is our greatest challenges that reveal our character and our lessons.  I'm grateful for my teachers, how about you?

Life is a Highway

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad."

~Anonymous

On my way home last week at 9:30 pm I was at a light and was guided (through my intuition) to “Turn left.”  My usual route is to continue straight for 2 blocks and get on the highway ramp.  After hearing the guidance, I contemplated turning left---it would take me the long way to the highway but I’d still get home.  In my exhaustion, however, I decided I would stay straight because it was the fastest way home.  I heard again, “Turn left.”  I contemplated it once more.  This time, I knew there must be a reason to turn left---so I reasoned I would just go slow for a few blocks--thinking this would be like I was turning left.  I reasoned, if I’m supposed to turn left to avoid an accident, than slowing down will also help.  The light changed and I proceeded straight--slowly.  Just as the car was seizing forward, the train track gates descended and lights began flashing to stop the traffic!  I quickly hung a left (phewwwww) and avoided the 20 minute freight train delay.

While listening to my intuition in this example didn’t save my life (as far as I know), it did get me home earlier--which is exactly what I wanted.  When I look at the guidance that was given to me, it was simply to “Turn left.”  No interpretation needed.  Just execution.  How often though, do we hear guidance and reason it away.  Technically speaking, if I was supposed to go slow, my intuition would have said, “Go slow.”

In this example, I was forcing my will over my internal guidance.  I was trying to control the circumstances, instead of letting go and allowing what needed to happen for my highest good.

All too often we think we have all the answers.  We think we understand all the pieces to the puzzle.  We think we know what’s best for us or our situation.  But the truth is (at least to me), I don’t have a better view of the playing field-- They (the Universe/God/Higher Power) do.  Sometimes They come up with things that I couldn’t even dream of they are so perfect.  I see this in my healings and in my own life.  Generally when I’m working on a client, I’m given a natural remedy to suggest, that I have no prior knowledge about, but in fact can help the client in 3 different ways.  I also witnessed their perfect planning in the adoption of my dog.

In reality I’m happiest when I follow my internal guidance.  I’m less stressed and more fulfilled.  It takes a lot of faith, but faith builds with the success stories.   You just have to take the first step and trust in your intuition.  Chances are, you'll be glad you did.

Joey

“Happiness is something we create.” ~Sugarland

People often look at me and wonder why I am so damn happy.  They want what I’m having!  But the truth is, how could I not?  I’ve had a pretty incredible life-- from the beginning.

Gratitude became ingrained in my little being when my younger brother and best friend was born with a bi-lateral cleft lip and palate-- among other health conditions. What is amazing is that his very tiny body decided to fight for life and we are all better people because he did.  That little boy chose to wake up every day without complaining-- becoming a pillar of strength not only in our family but in our community.  He seemed to be born with the inner wisdom of knowing he had a choice.  His choice was to accept what he could not change and to do it gracefully.  For 17 years I did not see him feel sorry for himself-- not even once!  He had over 40 surgeries and countless hospitalizations.  When you grow up with that kind of strength it is hard not to be strong yourself.  You also develop a unique perspective on life--one where you are grateful that’s not you--that you don’t have to “suck it up” and not know why.  Despite all this, we treated Joey like he was one of us, but the truth is, none of us could compete with his caliber.

Happiness is a choice and we all have so much to be thankful for.

Be Yourself

“Are you strong enough to be yourself...” ~Enrique Iglesias

I love what I do!  I love the way I think.  I (now) love that for years people looked at me funny because I thought differently. If I didn’t think differently, I wouldn’t be able to look at someone’s physical body and see how their emotional and spiritual bodies are creating their current physical status.  I wouldn’t have just been able to give a multi-dimensional reading to someone in a hospital.

For years I wondered why I didn’t fit in.  I remember being in 4th grade on the playground and wondering why the girls would bicker everyday.  They were so mean to each other-- and they were friends!  My twin sister would have a different best friend every day!  I remember thinking, how do they do that?

For much of my childhood I observed.  I was trying to understand behavior.  I observed partly because I couldn’t out shine my twin sister (she was very loud and boisterous), partly because I was nearly invisible in my family (I remember occasionally raising my hand at the dinner table in an attempt to be heard), but mostly because I was extremely curious about human behavior.  I needed to understand.  I thought, if I understand them, maybe I’ll understand me.  It wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I really began to understand me.

That year I suffered a bi- lateral fracture of my L-5 (lower back), and a pinched disk above it from playing soccer.  OUCH!   It took the doctors 2 months to properly diagnose me.  It was only in my persistence (from intuitive guidance) and my Mom listening to me (thanks Mom!), that I was able to get a proper diagnosis.

Upon my diagnosis, the doctor told me I probably wouldn’t heal.  He informed my 16 year old ears, that I would “never be able to play sports again,” never have a “sit-down job” or “stand-up job.”   I left his office in pieces.  I was offered surgery that would permanently alter my spine or I could “rough” it and see how my body would heal.  I decided to rough it-- knowing what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.  I would spend the next 9 months on bed rest, with a body brace, and a bone stimulator--and not go to the junior prom.

This may sound crazy, but I’m really glad that happened.  Removing me from school offered me the opportunity to learn without feeling self-conscious about the way I was thinking.  I was able to devote a 100% of my attention to my studies and I found that I loved school!  I had to teach myself a lot of the material in order to keep up-- and I loved that!  That’s when I decided I wanted to be a teacher and also realized, the “dumb blonde” stereotype that plagued me, was holding me back from my potential!  I started to appreciate my differences rather than hiding them.

I also realized the importance of visualization, patience, and hope that year. When I left the swanky N.Y.C. doctor’s office I refused to believe his prediction for the rest of my life.  I adamantly decided to ignore his “expertise.”  I spent many nights dreaming about playing soccer and visualizing myself healing.  When I showed up for my last doctors visit-- my doctor was stunned.  He informed me the radiologist had just called his office to speak to him directly because she couldn’t believe I was the same girl who had broken her back.  My doc informed me I had managed to heal my back and make it stronger than it was before.  Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I was back on the field where I’ve been playing for the last 12 years.

I think Dr. Seuss sums it up best, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

You Are Not Alone

“Do not assume that divine guidance flows only when you are in need of help. Guidance continues to flow whether or not you have problems.   It...comes during times of tranquility or trauma...it is up to you to have the courage to acknowledge it.”  ~ Caroline Myss

You are not alone.

If there was only one thing I could convey to you, it is that you are not alone.  You are constantly being guided.  It can be very hard to believe at times but I assure you-- you are not alone.  If there is ever a time when you feel you you need help, please ask the Universe (God, Allah, whomever you believe in) for help-- and then listen.  Often times we are too busy to wait for an answer and so we think that our prayers are not being answered.  We also have a preconceived notion about what form our answer or guidance should come as.  Please be open to everything.

You are being guided in various ways.  The key is to always be listening.  Guidance will come through friends, family, situations, and things. I have seen this so many times, that I no longer believe in coincidences.  I call them synchronistities (and I’m not the only one) because guidance from the Universe is all about timing.  Guidance will come relentlessly.  It is in the timing of your listening and being ready to hear the message that will make all the difference.

When I first started out on this journey to energy medicine I was pretty clueless as to what direction I should go in.  So I began by reading several books based on the scientific evidence of psychic phenomenon (cool!).  I read a book about 5 or so famous mediums who were put through a series of tests to prove their ability to talk to those who have crossed over.  I was particularly impressed by one medium called John Edward.  Reading about his gift made me wonder about what mine might be.

At the time I finished this book, I found myself at a school fundraiser with many donated books for sale.  Being on a budget, I hoped I could find the perfect book-- and I did.  While perusing the plethora of books, I glanced down and saw a John Edward book right there!  When I looked at it, I knew there was a message inside it to me.  I quickly opened the book and looked at the inside cover...nothing.  Hmmm, maybe it’s on the last few pages.  Nothing.  I decided to take home the book anyway and thought I was silly for thinking a message for me was somehow embedded in the book.  Maybe the message is in the text of the book, but that didn’t seem right either.  It really felt like there was a message for me specifically.

Weeks later, I was sitting on my couch reading his book and decide to get a cup of coffee.  I place the book down and out falls a note!  At that point, I actually freaked out.  This is what the note said:

Dear Amy,

This is not your gift.  It is coming in the mail.  We have subscribed to John Edward’s newsletter for you for a year.  Hope you have a wonderful year!

Love,

Ellen and David

Holy--moly--is--right!  You are probably thinking I made this up!  But I didn’t!  I promise.  The amount of things that needed to be orchestrated in order for me to receive this message is incredible.  Amy (whomever she is) had a birthday, Ellen and David decided to give this book (which they felt wasn’t enough for Amy), so they decided to write a note, Amy decided to donate the book with the note in the book, I decided to attend the fundraiser, look for a book, listen to the message of guidance about this book, buy the book, read the book and find the note.

You may be thinking why didn’t the Universe present the note right away when I looked for it?  It’s because I wasn’t ready to hear the message.  I needed to buy the book to learn from his work and get a better understanding of his gift.  Only then was I ready to learn that mediumship isn’t “my gift” and to not assume the form that the guidance should come in.

In the course of my time working in the spiritual realm, I have learned, without a doubt, the Universe has got my back.  Knowing that help is always available should bring some relief.  I hope this example inspires you to take notice and listen--I think you will be as amazed as I have been.

Desert Rose

“Keep in touch with yourself kid!”    ~my Dad

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I’m in Fabulous Las Vegas!  Gazing from the 58th floor I have the most beautiful panoramic view of a mountain range. Their rich chocolaty color etched with exquisite detail from weathering and time.  All of them seemingly placed without effort in this vast desert and endless sky.  It reminds me of just how insignificant things really are.

Several years ago I took a road-trip through the Southwest and that’s when I fell in love.  At sunset, the reds and oranges echoing off the mountains and sky were breathtaking.  It felt like an embrace from God.

On that road-trip we stopped in Sedona and I decided to do something crazy.  I went out into the desert with a 6 foot 5 Shaman whom I’d never met before! This was a clear case of me blindly following my intuition--but what an experience!

The first part of our meeting didn’t go so well (part one was in his office, part two was a hike).  He started by asking a lot of personal questions.  He just skipped over the small talk and pleasantries (which is common among psychics because part of the intuition process is bypassing the frontal lobe which means they are now operating without a (social) filter).   Because of this, I found myself acting defensive and he commented on it.  I said, “To be quiet honest, you’re a man, I just met you and I’d rather just go out in the desert with you and do this.”  I couldn’t believe the words that just came out of my mouth!  He obliged and soon we were heading to the desert in his old, dusty, red pick-up truck and I was thinking, I hope I don’t die.

When we started, he began by introducing us to the plants, trees and animals.  He kept referring to three of us being there. I kept thinking, who the heck is he referring to?  I wasn’t about to argue with a man talking to plants about how many of us were really there.  Needless to say, it took me a while not to laugh at this process but I soon began to enjoy the experience.  I thought, we should introduce ourselves (however many of “us” are here).

After sometime I even began to like this guy.  He’d ask me to sense things I’d never tuned into before.  He’d show me a vortex (an Earth energy center) so I could feel it.  Then I’d have to find one of my own.  It was fun to experience nature in a totally different way!  I even “spoke” to a Grandmother tree.

Soon we came upon a clearing, where he decided we were going to use a drum and the mountains to clear blocked energy from me.  At the time I had no idea what that meant but I trusted the process-- and I’m glad I did!  Moments later, I was doubled over holding my stomach wondering how mountains and a drum could make me want to throw up.  He asked me to step out of the pain I was feeling and to see the root of the pain.  That’s when I saw a black ball sitting inside my energetic body.  I grasped this ball and set it beside me.  The pain stopped.  He asked me to peel back the color on the ball--it was now white.  He asked me to reach inside the ball and pull out what was inside.  I did.   Much to my surprise, I reached in and found me-- around the age of 4 in a white, flowy, nightgown.  Wow!  Didn’t expect that!  I had found our third hiker!

This experience in the desert was amazing because it taught me trust the process even though it is sometimes very scary and to keep in touch with my inner (4 year old) child--my soul.

Shocked

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~Wayne Dyer

It’s not about you.

As a teacher I learned it is not about you.  Everyone is on their own path--plugging along just as clueless as you (for the most part).  They hit speed bumps, terrible experiences, and struggles with love and relationships.  The more you respect this rule, “It’s not about you,” the more self-esteem you’ll likely have.  It provides a lens to view the world and the actions of those around you and you start to see how it really isn’t about you.  So what am I talking about?

When I was a teacher I worked with students with emotional disturbances.  Everyday I would go in and my ego would be tested (are you seeing a theme here?).  I’d say to the students, “Please take out your pen and paper and begin writing down the notes for today.”  Many times, I’d get a response like, “Go f--k yourself you white f---ing b-tch!” Hmmm, nice!

At first, my reaction was of shock.  Gasp! I never talked to an adult like that!  Plus, I was just asking them to take out a pen and paper to take notes for Pete’s sake!  A simple task-- with a please!  It only took several times of having my ego stamped on, that I started to look at the situation more objectively.  That’s when I started to laugh (instead of cry!).  I didn’t deserve a response like that and I was stupid to think that their response was really about me!  Of course it wasn’t!  It was really about what I represented to them, or it was a reflection of what they learned about treating someone, or about the fact that many of them could barely read and write.  Either way--it wasn’t about me.

This really got me thinking.  Why was I so shocked at that behavior, after all, they were classified as students with emotional disturbances (whatever that means).  I was shocked because I had an expectation of the way to be treated.  But that was my expectation that I placed on them.  I started thinking, is that really fair that I had an expectation on them they didn’t even know about.  Would they have still responded in that fashion if I had allowed them access to my expectation?  Who knows, but I started to realize that my disappointments in life were directly related to the expectations I had place on people. In addition, I’ve found myself a lot more satisfied because I rarely get disappointed by people.

The equation is simple. The more self-esteem you have, the less ego you have. The more ego you have the less self-esteem you have.  That’s just the way it is.  They are proportional.  You can’t raise one without the other falling.  That’s because when ego is the lens you view the world with, it’s all about you --and truthfully, it’s not all about you.

Rehab

“We all are born, we all die, and here's the secret...we all need each other in between." ~Morrie (from Tuesdays with Morrie)

 

The book that happened to fall in my lap was Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse. This novel is about a man who is searching for inner peace through giving up his worldly possessions (what a gambler!).  He later became known as Buddha.

His journey inspired me to formulate a tangible way of illustrating the important connection between mind, body, and spirit and the energetic exchange that is constantly happening.  Balancing the supply and demand of your body’s energy puts you on the path to true well-being.

I call this balancing act an Energy Packets Theory.  For the sake of a visual, think of these packets like sugar packets.  Someone who eats healthily, exercises, meditates, and gets a good nights sleep daily would wake up with a lot of energy packets!  Who doesn't want that?  Someone who indulged in a double cheese burger and forgot to go to the gym the day before (ut oh!), would have less energy packets to get through the day.  The truth is, we all become lackadaisical in caring for our mind, body and spirit at some point. The key is to offset the imbalances when they occur (I'm sure you Libras are great at this!).

Throughout the day we spend our packets on different situations and people.  What we need to do is to use our packets wisely and gain them through things that make us feel better.  Many of us have things we “have to do,” so we can anticipate releasing energy packets for those things (sucks, doesn't it).  However, it is important to replenish our energy packets through things like taking a walk on the beach, devouring a slice of watermelon on a hot summer day, or sitting quietly with coffee contemplating life. Indulging in the things you love and feeding your mind with positive thoughts will help bring about inner peace.  After all, some of the best things in life are free (ahhhhh).

Taking time for yourself is about self love.  If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t have enough energy to care for others.  I learned this when I was teaching the inner city kids classified with emotional disturbances (yikes is right!).  If I wasn’t feeling 100%, the students could just smell the weakness within me.  They would pounce on my emotional instability and devour me like I was prey.  I learned very quickly, that it wasn’t worth trying to teach when I wasn’t feeling top notch!

So what are the frivolous ways we expend our packets?   Often, we lose our energy without even knowing it!  For instance, our grip on the way things should have been literally tires us out.  When you worry about something, or wish you could change something that happened in the past,  you are flushing your packets down the toilet!  It’s the same as having someone do an automatic withdrawal from your energy bank account each day before you even get up!  This is considered an “energy leak” and is seen as an actual energetic cord coming out of the body by those who see energy--quite literally holding you back.

This is why it is important to look at the people whom you surround yourself with.  Our friends and family are like an energy insurance policy.  If we need a few packets to help pick us up, we can call our loved ones and they are happy to get us back on track to feeling better (they've got nothing better to do anyway).  And vice versa.  It is the people whom we feel “drained” after being with that we need to be wary of.  Those people are only taking energy packets and not replacing them, so we need to adjust our relationship with them to preserve our reserves!

For many of us who have become overwhelmed by the demands of life, our goal simply becomes to “just get through the day.” If this is the case, you are likely not replenishing the packets you are loosing. The more you feel like you are becoming depleted of the vital energy that supplies you, the more your body will feel the scarcity of what is happening.  This causes your body to go into the Fight or Flight mode.  In reality, the mind literally down shifts into what is called “Reptilian Brain.”  The name says it all.  Your body has slipped into survival mode (and has released cortisol).  This is when you become less articulate and make irrational decisions because you are quite literally consumed with your survival.  That’s why during a verbal fight with someone, you can’t quite explain your point of view.  Your body has shut down important functions like digestion in hopes of supplying enough energy to get your butt out of that terrible situation!  You may have even experienced the “Ah Ha!” moment after the fight, where you have formulated the best comeback in your life.  You think to yourself, “Why didn’t I think to say that?”   It is because your brain has now shifted out of Reptilian Brain and you can think clearly, whereas before you were focused on survival. Pheeeew!

Lastly, we need to be sure that we are gaining high quality, long lasting energy packets! Sounds yummy!  Sometimes things can masquerade as high quality energy packets.  For instance, shopping is a way of gaining low quality energy packets, because the truth is a shopping high doesn’t last quite as long as a runner’s high, nor does it have the same beneficial effects on the body (wishful thinking!).  Continuing to choose booze over berries is another recipe for disease.  If you want to receive high quality energy packets, get some Reiki!  Reiki comes from an inexhaustible resource!  Awesome!  I'm looovin' it!

The bottom line here is  take that walk, spend the extra time with the kids---happiness is something we create!  So make the choice to rehabilitate your energetic system in efficient ways.  Health and happiness come from within. When it comes from within, it cannot be taken away.  Thank you Siddhartha for teaching me this.

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Chasing Cars

“Ego... Edging God Out.” ~Wayne Dyer

So I had found my passion--I was ready to run to the hills and start healing people!  Then I looked at my bank account.  My heart sank to the pit of my stomach.  Ugh.  I was going to have to keep my job for a lot longer than I thought.  It’s not that I didn’t like my job, I was just growing tired of feeling like I was only using half my self.  I decided on a compromise, I’d keep my job, pay off debt, and work on clients when I had the time. All the while I would continue to cultivate my mind, body and spirit. This was going to take some serious discipline.

Anyone who has seen me in the last few years, knows I used to drive a jalopy.  It was a tan 1997 Nissan Altima.  It wasn’t so bad when I got it.  NYC made it into a “Hooptie.”  That car was uuuuuuuugly and came with two lessons.  One in ego, and one in discipline.  Prior to acquiring Hooptie, I drove a beautiful Infiniti G35 that could go from 0 to 60 mph in like half a second. I loved it!  It was also waaaaay over my budget considering the money I owed to credit card companies and student loans. I decided to sell it so that I could one day pursue what made me feel whole--energy medicine.

Trying to sell my car was taking forever-- at least longer than immediately.  It was sort of like ripping a bandaid off slowly.  I needed to just get on with my plan--plug one of the holes in my bucket of disappearing money.  I decided to sell it for much less than it was worth.  That’s when my sister’s boyfriend needed a “new” car so I sold it to him.  I remember the day clearly.  I was pacing the beach talking to him on the phone.  By the end of the conversation I managed to sell my car and get his car for free!  I have no idea how I was able to swing that, but it happened.  The excitement that soared through me felt awesome!  I felt like I was finally on track!

Then, one icy night in December someone hit my car.  This car managed to hit both the front and the back of the car (I have no idea how). They also didn’t leave any insurance information so I was left to fix the damages on my own.  This was not where I envisioned my money going, so I found a garage in Brooklyn where they would do the bare minimum to fix the car.  I just needed it to run, not look good.  There was $4,000 worth of damages (more than the total worth of the car), but they fixed it for $400.  For six months I drove it with half a bumper, a crinkled hood and a crushed trunk.  Best of all, I parked my little Hoopty in the Upper Eastside of Manhattan.  Finally, on one summer afternoon, a friend and I “fixed” my bumper with duct tape, mastic (it’s like glue for tiles), and some tan paint.

I had to ask my self why the universe wanted me to drive such a ridiculous car.  What was this situation supposed to be teaching me?  I have found that looking at moments and situations like these helps to learn the lesson it is providing.  That way you can avoid being hit with a sledgehammer (or the phantom car in the middle of the night) to recognize it.

Clearly I was going to have to get my ego in check even more.  I guess it wasn’t enough that I had decided I couldn’t keep up with “Jones” in the Upper Eastside-- so I didn’t even try.   Truthfully, that decision brought a lot of relief.  I was able to focus my attentionand money on other things (like paying off debt). But why did the universe mangle my car?  My only conclusion was that I needed to learn more about ego.

I decided to take a closer look at the word ego.  It comes from the Latin word ego (conveniently) and means “I.”  As you may know, egocentric means the world revolves around me!  The American way!  If we step back and look at that, the more that everything is about you the less it is about others. That’s just mathematically the way it is. So what’s wrong with that?  That’s when it hit me.  Hello McFly! If I was gonna do the work I wanted to do, I was going to have to be totally sure of myself (no matter what car or clothes I had) so I could be confident in my skills as a healer.  It’s not easy to say to someone, “So what’s going on with your hip, because it’s killing me!” I had to be able to trust what I was feeling, have the confidence to say it, and not care if the person looked at me like I'm crazy.  This work isn’t about me.  It’s about transferring information and energy through me.

To deepen this understanding, the right book happen to fall in my lap...

Suddenly I See

"Your mind's a dangerous neighborhood: don't go there alone." ~Mary Karr

People often ask me, "Did you always know you were a healer?"  The better question is, how did I go from being such a huge skeptic, to someone who believes in this so much? I used to help teach a Physics class in college where we touched on the topic of psychic phenomenon and I thought it was a bunch of crap. A waste of time, and that psychics were making stuff up based on reading the body language of the person.  It was going to take a miracle to change my mind.

In March of ’07 my life changed when my partner said, “Why don’t you try meditating.”  My reaction was, I’m not doing that-- I can’t do that! I can't even sit still!  My ego didn’t want her to know the truth, so out came, “O.K.”  I could just feel myself energetically slapping my forehead thinking-- you idiot!  Now I had to do it.  I’ve always been a person of my word-- especially to myself.  I had to give it a try.

So I sat down one chilly morning in March on my little brown couch, turned on soothing music and held on to my coffee tightly (I wasn’t about to meditate without coffee--I’d probably fall asleep!). The plan was simple. I wasn’t going to get off the couch for the next hour.  I was going to force myself to sit still for an hour. I figured if I sat long enough something was bound to happen.  So I sat, and I sat, and I sat.  Day after day meditating.  Waiting, listening, and finally one day I suddenly felt my eyes burning.  Holy moly!  I opened my eyes.  What was that?  And then it was gone.  I closed my eyes again, and it was back.  This time I kept my eyes closed and let myself feel what was going on.  They felt like they were burning, like there was sand in my eyes.  Jeesh, do I have pink eye? Then I tried to figure out what had crossed my mind just prior to the burning sensation.  Sara!   And then I knew, this was not mine.  I can’t really explain how I knew so definitively that this was not my eyes burning, but my twin sister Sara’s!  This is crazy!  I started meditating to gain inner peace, and now, I’m in pain?  Is this a joke?  I put my coffee down, mustered up the courage to pick up the phone and call my sister at 8 in the morning.  This was our conversation.

Me: Sara, hi, it’s me (the one you shared the womb with).  Um, I have a weird question for you, but could you just answer it for me?

Sara: Hi, um, yeah.

Me: Are your eyes burning right now?  Like you have sand in them?

Sara: How did you know that?! I have a double pink eye infection-- one in each eye.  They are killing me.  How did you know that, I didn’t even tell mom.

Holy crap!  I started to shake, I was a little scared, but intrigued.  Was this “twin-tuition” or something else. I explained to her that she popped into my head when I was meditating and my eyes started to burn. I couldn’t offer much of an explanation.  I knew I sounded crazy.

The next day, I sat down again and started to meditate.  I got bored so I started to wonder how my dad was doing.  Ouch! What the heck was that?  All of a sudden my tooth was killing me in the back of my mouth.  I knew this was not mine either.  So I sat with the pain, trying to figure out which tooth it was in my mouth.  Once I located it, I decided to call my mom.  The conversation went similar to the one with my sister.

Me: Mom, what’s wrong with the tooth in dad’s mouth.  It’s all the way in the back, on the top, on the left side.  Does he need to go to the dentist?

Mom:  Yes, he is going today.  Last night he bit down on a walnut and cracked his tooth.  How did you know that? Wait, which tooth did you say?

Me:  The one in the back on the top, on the left side.

Mom:  You know, that is probably right.  It’s definitely on the left side and in the back on the top.  How did you know that?

Again, I really didn’t have a good explanation.  I thought, what is going on?  What is the purpose of feeling someone else’s pain so intensely? That question lingered in my mind for several months.

I continued to tune into other people’s pain during meditation only after getting their permission.  I started getting phone calls from friends and family asking me what I thought of a certain pain/problems they were experiencing.  The more I was accurate, the more I knew there must be something greater at work here than just me.  How could I possibly know these things?  Suddenly it dawned on me (I'm a little slow sometimes), if I can feel their pain and I can heal with my hands, maybe I’m supposed to combine the two and help make people feel better!  Cue the Alleluia music, angles and fairies dancing and a bright light shining between clouds that have just parted.  I had just found my purpose!

Now what do I do with that?!

 

Raise Your Glass!

 Me and my best friend Michelle

Me and my best friend Michelle

"Be the change you want to see in the world."  ~Mahatma Gandhi

This is the reason for my blog.  I want to see a more positive world.  I want an environment that is truly safe for self-expression.  And one where there is a marriage of Eastern and Western medicine.  I want to be a part of the transformation that is taking place on this planet right now, so I started a blog.

I'll fill you in on who I am and what made me ME---chronologically speaking.  The rest of the blog is dedicated to what I have learned and my experiences as a healer.  I'll get you right up to speed.  You won't even miss a beat.

So here goes...I'm a middle child (of six kids) with a twin.  Yes, your calculations are correct-- I shared the middle child slot with my sister Sara.  This basically rendered anything I said growing up as obsolete.  This is why I have so much to say.

Being raised in a small town was great.  We always felt safe and secure and played a lot of sports and hung outside all day.  Life was easy.

After leaving my little hometown I ventured to Syracuse University, where I discovered I was anonymous!  How great!  I could just be me.  Not Amy who is a sister of so and so.  I could find myself.  And I did.  I met my best friend Michelle who has a personality that screams, "I am fun!" She also, by the way, is an only child and was very aware of who she was and I was not---something I admired in her.  We helped each other grow immeasurably.

Approaching graduation,  I realized I needed to grow up, get a job and start grad school.  I couldn't afford another school, so I joined the NYC Teaching Fellows program.  What an experience!  Thank God I was 22 years old at the time.  I have no idea how I had the energy to do what I did every day.  I saw and heard things no one should ever see or hear.  I saw a corrupt school system, students being overlooked, and children fighting for their life.  I saw adults being children and children being adults.  I'll never forget those kids or my experiences.  The one thing that kept me safe in those schools was the unconditional love I had for the students.  Each child had something about them that I could love--and that is all they truly wanted-- to be loved.

Several years after teaching the poorest kids in the city, I got a glimpse of what it is like to be one of the richest kids in the city.  I became a full-time tutor for a beautiful family.  This gave me an interesting perspective on raising children and what it is like to "have it all."  It's a wonderful experience to feel so loved by another family- to feel like your own family has just doubled.

Working for that family provided the right circumstances to venture into the world of energy medicine.  I decided to take the leap and find out why I felt like my hands could heal.  I decided to become (drum roll please...) a Reiki Master.  Actually, it's not that serious.  It's just funny to me to be called a master at anything.  I did however find my love.  I found my purpose.  I found I could help people beyond my wildest dreams--and that is not an exaggeration.  I have seen and felt things I never knew a person could.  I am astounded that this field is not yet mainstream.  I have made it my goal to bring this form of healing to the general public.  I fully believe in the marriage of Eastern and Western medicine, and I'm not the only one. Just ask Dr. Oz, Dr. Bruce Lipton, Caroline Myss, Wayne Dyer, Donna Eden, and many others.

        This is my son at the beach in New Jersey

       This is my son at the beach in New Jersey

I decided to go to massage school in Florida and get my license as a massage therapist fully knowing that I would never be a massage therapist! I needed that license to be an energy healer.  Recently, I moved to Colorado and had a baby with my partner!  My son is almost 2 and half now and I just completed my first study of the Effects of Energy Work On People With Parkinson's. Everyday I wake up excited for what is to come. I promise to share my knowledge and happiness with you.

Cheers!

Now let's get started!